Saturday, May 26, 2012

Avatard



Hey guys! Yeah it's been a long time. Things have changed. Things change! What can ya do? The earth is spinning and time is moving and I can literally not think of even one thing that could change that. Here is one example of how things have changed, it took me forever to figure out how blogger works now. What's going on here?! But lets just get to the point. We're back! Well, I'm back. My associate is gone. She has pass on. Don't worry she isn't actually dead... just dead to me! hahahaha. oh woah. Well lets get serious, we are back and ready to discuss all those really important things we normally discuss. For instance we have some very topical and timely discussions to discuss about the superstar blockbuster smash hit, James Cameran's Avatar!

Now, I saw this in theaters 100 years ago when it first came out and let me tell you, I just hated it. Most of the people I went with liked it. When I argued with these people they ended up falling into two categories, those who defended the movie, or ya know film, as a whole. They felt the story was THERE. It had a message, and it was just beautiful. The other group admitted the story was pretty heavy handed and sorta extremely dumb and also extremely stupid but, it was visually AMAZING.
I just cant follow either of these arguments. The story certainly was both dumb and stupid, but to top it off I was not impressed with the visuals. Is it because I have watched movies and other things before and because of this it just looked like movies and other things to me? Like there is a very small chance that everyone I went to see this with hadn't seen a movie since the beginning of the Talkie? That doesn't make much sense but, ya never know. Well since this is just such a very appropriate thing to be thinking about a mere 50 years since its release I decided to compile a list of movies that were way more visually impressive than Avatar.


Number 1. Jumanji. This movie was made a million years ago. Have you seen Robin Williams lately? He does not look the same way he looked like in Jumanji. Kirsten Dunst is a lovely young woman now as opposed to a lovely young lady. Bonnie Hunt looks the same, but she just must have some secret. The monkey-boy as we all know went on to flourish I'm sure. But just think about that stampede scene, was that a real stampede? Of course not, but it certainly looked like one!

Number 2. LOTR. It looks GREAT. Watch all 169 hours of bonus features and you will find out how they made that movie magic. Or don't if you still want to baffle at the magic of movie makings

Number 3. Jurassic Park. Ok, this is like, DUUUUUUH. Cuz, those are maybe real dinosaurs? How did they do that? How come nothing else looks that real and cool now? Remember when Jeff Goldblum does that speech about randomness and he has those drops of water drop off his hand? That always confused me so much when I was a kid! I had no idea what he was talking about!


Number 4. Pixar


Number 5. World of Warcraft. This is not a movie, but it is what I was most reminded of the entire time I was watching Avatar. My former associate here at Aguh had a pretty intense relationship with this game and because of this I had to look at it a lot, and you know what, it looked like Avatar. Also Avatar looks like Gears of War and also every other videogame made after 1998 and that isn't on Wii.

To sum it up. I don't like Avatar. When I was searching for the title pic to go along with Avatar I couldnt tell the difference between fan drawings, computer made images, videogame screen grabs, and images from the film. But lets look on the bright side, James Cameron is gonna make a billion more of these and then he is gonna make a billion more bucks, and then he can buy more things for himself! GOOD FOR HIM!

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