E! News Investigates: The Farts

Just kidding, Aguh News Investigates. I just figured if I used an extremely reliable news source in my headline then people would immediately pay attention to our investigative journalism. Now that I got your attention let me take you through a journey of medical science and discovery.
This all started when my roomie and fellow Aguher came down with an extremely serious and dangerous medical condition. It is a very sensitive subject, and I know we should have broken the news ages ago but it is just very tough to talk about. Now that you know we are obviously accepting all the sympathy and get well cards you can send. Our email is Aguh6969@T.A.edu. Yes, it's true my dear bloggers, my roomie suffers from, The Farts. And let me tell you this is not a mild form of the farts. This is inoperable chronic The Farts.

And so because of this illness there has been lots of talk around the apt about various treatments and medications. For example today Roomie Boomie asked me, "what's the difference between Gas-X and Beano". I was like, "I think the difference is that Gas-X makes you fart. It gets the gas out of you. I think Beano makes you not fart at all."

Although I am very very smart and watch a lot of House and know everything about medicine I decided to do some investigative journalism. After seconds of sorta skimming wikipedia I can confirm that Gas-X makes you fart (or burp, or maybe just burp, i dunno) and Beano makes you not fart. Don't believe me? Ask the Dishes!

Gas-X-

"Simethicone is an anti-foaming agent that decreases the surface tension of gas bubbles, causing them to combine into larger bubbles in the stomach that can be passed more easily by burping. Simethicone does not reduce or prevent the formation of gas in the digestive tract, rather, it increases the rate at which it exits the body.^[1] However, simethicone can relieve pain caused by gas in the intestines by decreasing foaming which then allows for passing of flatus."
Actually this picture doesn't make sense with my explanation. It looks like they are saying it stops farts but I think it makes farts. Uh oh. Maybe more investigating is needed at a future time.
ANYWHOS

Beano-

"The enzyme works in the digestive tract to break down the complex or branching sugars (polysaccharides and oligosaccharides) in foods such as legumes (beans and peanuts) and cruciferous vegetables (cauliflower, broccoli, cabbage, brussels sprouts, among others). The enzyme breaks those complex sugars into simple sugars, making these foods somewhat more digestible, and reducing intestinal gas."

Also, Katie Couric!

Donations can be made to the StopBoomieFarts#ItGetsBetter

PS. During our research it became apparent that Beano is also a comic book? So maybe if i just feed Boomie some The Beano Bumper 60th Birthday there will be less farts. Let's celebrate. Har Har!