Dirrrty Dogg Pretty Pog

WE'RE BACK! So now for a real blog. Sounds good. So did you notice some celebs (celebrities) look alike? Us too! Who looks alike? Well lets make this a continuing series on the blog and come up with all sorts of ideas!

Wait! We can't think of anything right now. shit... shet i have a better idea lets talk about the sheen, specifically Charles WHO GOT ARRESTED ON CHRISTMAS! maybe he choked his wife maybe he didn't. either way that shit is fucked up. he is not in the platoon anymore that's for sure

We're Blogging About Cocky

We talk about makeup all day. Sometimes we do make-overs. Sometimes we look just like Laday Gah- Ga. I hate this part right here. What part? The part where we have to figure out what to blog about. But even though we don't know what to write we know there are literally millions of readers of this blog who have been waiting on bated breath for a new entry. So.... well... we all watched Dumb and Dumber today and on TBS they showed Mary Swanson's (Samsonite) butt at 8:30 in the afternoon!!! There are children awake at that time!!!! But(t) then at 10:30 when they re-played it they didnt show her butt! WHAT UP WITH THAT!

But how about we talk about something else... ok, stayed tuned for the next blog. In three seconds

oh

oh, ooops forgot about this street fighter thing. we have been pretty distrated over here with left 4 dead 1 & 2. also whatever. but then i found this pic on my comp and i thought, this needs to be shared with the world. it's pretty gross

I Hate this Part Right Here

Maxx Factor. "It's like watching my mom get voted off". COME ON AMERICA. Why do you hate your mother so much.

I hate this part right here.

I know not what happened to your pod

oh hey ecco the dolphin. you are a very hard game to beat. and by beat i mean get through any level. I mean I did enjoy talking to Orca the killer whale but still, this game is pretty diffucult. When am I ever going to meet the Big Blue? Probbaly as soon as i dont die because half a jelly fish kind of almost touched me. Seriously Ecco, you have lived in the sea your whole life, why would so much shit in the ocean hurt you so much. I would really like to get to the part about the aliens but right now I cant get by this motherfucking octopus. Oh wait, I'm sorry, did I say Octopus? I meant "the eight legged one". Anywhos fuck you Ecco, I hope you never find your pod again.

Mutt Lange

Look at that face. That is a beautiful face. Think about Shania running her Canadian fingers through his curly hair. Just think about it.

this is kinda gross

So, it's just that time in the year where we have to talk about Garth Brooks. Listen, nobody in these parts (my apt) has a liking to this man. I mean, nothing against him, nobody hates him, it's not like he is Mel Gibson, but really, there is nothing special about this dude. ANYWHOS so in a strange turn of events all of us over here in these parts were chatting about Garth, sort of out of blue or somthing. To my suprise I was the only person who remembered Garth's alter ego, Chris Gaines, so it was time to investigate and prove to the world (my apt) that there was indeed a man named Chris Gaines.
So according to Wikipedia Garth was set to be in a movie called, The Lamb, and he was to play a brooding sort of rock star called Chris Gaines and then Garth took on that alter ego and promoted shit and was even on SNL as Gaines, which i kinda remember!
But really this is just so weird, like how could anybody forget that this happened, because really it is just the weirdest! Also Wiki says, "Despite the less than spectacular response to the Christ Gaines project, Brooks gained his first-and only- US top 40 pop single in "Lost in You" the first single in the album. So it seems to me that there were probably A LOT of Americans who were really into this Chris Gaines fellow.
ALSO has anybody thought of the reasoning behind the name, Garth. Like I never sat down to think about how Garth Brooks has the same name as Garth Algar, and like, nobody else in the world has that name cuz its just too weird.
ALSOOOOOOOOO, Garth Brooks has the same birthday as me! I'm not sure about Gaines birthday.

Kelly?!??!?!?!

Oh, hey

Ok, so, ok, lets just do this. Well... to get straight to the point.... today we saw Mel Gibson and in reality he is about 80 years old and super wrinkly and in some sort of hypnotized trance walking around with his arms in front of him with glazed over eyes holding his walkman out in front of him. so now that thats over lets get into this. there are two important features in this story. number one, mel gibson not only looks fucked up and wrinkly but also as if he is not really tuned into reality. number two he is holding a walkman out in front of him. this fact in itself has two important parts, one he is holding it out in front of his face as he walks, number two... a walkman. so it seems as if mel gibson is a zombie listening to something... on tape? so the tape, we have deduced it can only be one of two things, number one, his weird russian mistress just had a baby, this is his eighth baby. so obviously the first time he had a baby must have been many years ago. so when he first had his first of many babies cassette tapes were probably all the rage. so all his tapes about baby advice cannot be listend to on anything but a walkman. the only other thing it could be is his old copy of the bible on tape. cuz you only need one copy of the bible on tape. his copy is of course read by himself, and in aramaic. MOST important there is a zombie mel gibson on the loose! watch out new york, sorry we didnt stop him while we could.

R.I.P

Niko Niko Niko Niko

This morning I woke up to the most obnoxious sound. It was the law and order theme song. But not just any law and order theme song, It was a mother fucking ring tone. The only people who like law and order are old people. However, this person could not be above 60 years old because they would not have known how to set the ring tone. At this point, I know who I am dealing with. A 50 year old law and order fanatic with a feminine step. I sat up in bed. My European instincts took over. "What do you think you are doing?" I said in a Russian accent. I pulled the pistol out of my pajama pants and pointed it at the owner of the cell phone. I shot her twice in the head, jumped out the window, stole a car and headed for the border. That is when I realized I had been playing GTA IV all mother fucking night. And I am still playing it now. If only this was real life.

spider roll

hey, pretty much i had the same problem here as i had with chun-li. google search cammy and you get sex cammy. google search sarah michelle gellar you get sexy sarah michelle gellar. this sucks. evetually i found a couple fighting pictures but really it should not have been that hard. i mean both of these ladies careers are pretty much centered around physical altercations. aguh

EMERGENCY

so i wanna be screaming about this to allison but katie is trying to sleep and screaming at us to be quiet so she can sleep but omg. so there was this direct-tv commercial. maybe its directv. idk. but its david spade. which is like, whatever, you kinda belong in a commercial like this, you need money to pay rent or whatever. but then there is chris farley doing his fat guy in a littl coat routine. wait just one minute. i thought chris farley was dead. oh wait a second lemme check... yup dead. definitely dead. oh so cute, they CGI'd his acting into a totally awesome commercial with david spade or some shit. and david spade one of his best friends forever was totally ok with it. omg, thats just the most heart warming thing i have ever heard. when im dead i hope all my friends use my image to make money for themselves by selling tv stuff

the good mac

HEY! Macaulay.... you aint no good son....

Home Alone

Not the movie. The real life shit. While growing up, my mother compared me to Macauly Culkin. "Oh Allison, your hair is just like Macauly's. You are a good son, just like Macauly. I'm going to leave you alone for a week, just like Macauly." GOD DAMMIT MOM, THAT SHIT WAS A MOVIE. Everybody knows that all the crazy shit your parent do to you as a child makes you a freak. That is why I am so scared now. I am home alone.

Yeah maybe I got a shit ton of ice cream, but I don't got no one to save me from Joe Pesci. And I don't mean the robber from Home Alone. I mean the mother fucking killer from Goodfellas. So I hope my roommates are happy and full of Thai food, when they come home, and find the mafia has had their way with me.

Best,
Me.

That's my feral child!

Hey! It's my favorite character Blanka! I love Blanka. Poor little Blanka. Alone in the jungles of Brazil for so long. Did you know that a human baby that is left alone in the jungle raised by animals will turn all animal looking? Yeah really a human baby turns green and freaky when he is in the jungle! Apparently he is green cuz he rubbed plants all over him to blend in.... and it turned his skin green. I'm guessing his hair is naturally orange? Also I have heard that he is electric because of the plane crash or also cuz of the electric eels. I'm not sure. Love that feral child. Also he loves his mama. So much.

ANYWHOS, who would play him? It would have to be a character actor. How about John C Reily! He is such a character! I'm sure he could totally pull this off. I mean have you seen Boogie Nights?! What a pro, what a character pro.

WAIT!

WAIT! here is ONE picture of her fighting. So there is one. And this is pretty cool cuz she is totally killing Ryu. So when the movie comes out this is gonna be Olivia Munn totally kicking the shit out of Jet Li. sounds good right?!

spinning time kick!

ok, so I wasnt going to do another one of these tonight, but I started looking around at pics and shit and I just got so angry, so here we go. So me and Allison were talking about who would be Chun Li and it was all like... DUH Olivia Munn. So like Ryu and Chun Li were the only two that were just like we totally already knew the perfect actors the rest we have been thinking about and ya know, aint so obvi. Olivia is clearly Chun Li cuz she pretty much is Chun Li and she has experience portraying Chun Li and already has her costume and has probably already gotten into the mind of Chun Li.

Well so thats out of the way, Olivia is Chun Li, but when searching for pictures on google to make a picture for this blog something really shitty happened. So i found a pic of Olivia as Chun Li in about one second. But then when i just searched for Chun Li all I found were disgusting drawings of her in gross sexual positions or girls dressed up as her humping shit or whatever. it was the worst. I mean seriously I found only about two pics of Chun Li that had nothing to do with sex. So i chose this totally not sexualized picture of her. When i searched for Ryu there were twelve millions image results of Ryu just fighting and being badass and shit. There were no pics of Chun Li fighting. There could be millions of pics of her fighting because she is a professional fighter. I mean sure her haduken isn't that good but she is badass. she can spin and kick upside down! Lets get serious she could totally beat tons of dudes up all day everyday. So what the fuck internet! I had no idea the "net" was so obsessed with objectifying women!!!

Haduken!

Hey, so there have been a couple street fighter movies. I saw one of them. It was AMAZING. and then there was another one all about Chun Li and I never saw it, but you know what, there should really be another street fighter movie and it should be amazing. like just the best thing you have ever seen. so lets pretend us gals over here at this place had lots of hollywood powers and could make this movie happen. who would we cast? wow what a great question! ok so how about every day or something like that we say a new castmember and shit.

ok so this first one is not that exciting, I mean let me think... who should be Ryu.... hhhmmmm.... ok DUH! Jackie Chan!!!! what? just kidding, Jackie could not handle such a serious role. What were you thinking?! I mean sure Jackie was AMAZING in The Tuxeodo, and I love his work with Owen Wilson, but I'm pretty sure he could never portray the complexities of Ryu. Ryu's pain at never being the best and always having to train harder. "I must train harder". So the real answer to this question is..... Jet Li!!!!!! But now there is not much else to say. Jet Li, obvi

Blog Force

What happens when someone forces you to blog? I know what you are thinking. "This is crazy, no one can force you to blog. Also, there is no rhyme or reason for forcing someone to blog, while riding a hog." Well guess what, there is definitely a rhyme (you just proved it) and there IS a reason. I can't share the exact reason (I'm scared) but I can say there is a force involved. Blog Force. NO, NOT BRUTE FORCE. So here it is: uhhh shit, on second thought, I think blogging about being forced to blog counts as blogging. Enjoy the long-lost picture of princess Leia I found under my roommate's mattress.

Wait... What... AGUH!

Hey, so we invented Aguh. Well we didn't really invent it, a little boy in an episode of Alvin and the Chipmunks titled Trick or Treason invented it. But we made it what it is today! So what is with this entry in urban dictionary?! this is it....

"1. aguh

a sound made by adorable people from Lebanon when they're frustrated or really excited.

Aguh I can't find my pen.
Aguh it's really cold.
Aguh it's spring break!!!"

Um... last time I checked this never existed outside of the context of our lives and Trick or Treason. Someone is reading our blog and stealing our shit! Now I know it's suprising that someone is reading our blog because nobody reads this but obviously there is some kind of conspiiracy against us. Also, in our post about the word shet our example is, "shit i forgot my pen, shet it was in my hand the whole time" (i dont really remember word for word but it's something like that). so whoever is fucking with my shit better get off my dick and either acknowledgy the theivery of ideas or just pay me lots of money to not go to the press

Wudy!

Detective Angel Batista. He is a detective in Dextaw. He went to Dexta and Wita's wedding. When Debwa and Wudy were dating he liked Wudy but then he kinda figuwed out that Wudy was the ice twuck killaw. I love Angel Batista. Also he twied to do it with a pwostitute

Did i watch the mtv movie awards? yes, yes i did. Did you enjoy them? probably only 30% was enjoyment. andy was good, the bruno eminem thing scared the shit out of me, and zac efron's hair has become it's own entity. twilight won everything. kristin stuart is extremely awkward and i cant tell if this makes me like her more or less. i'm still hoping to never see twilight. 

I actually voted this year because as i was twittering one day thomas lennon said, "vote for me and paul to win best kiss" so i decided to do that, but then i voted for james franco and sean penn. it didnt matter in the end  because none of those kisses were in the movie twilight. zero of the people i voted for won. this is because zero of the people i voted for were in twilight. considering a new twilight movie is coming out next year im thinking its not worth my time to vote next year either. 

Whatever happened to Anne Rice? weren't her vampires good enough for everyone? they were good enough for me. does this new generation even know about Lestat? 

in other news i really wanna see drag me to hell. but is it gonna be too scary to see in theaters? should i wait to see it at home? 

Come on!

Come on America! Get with it! Britney Spears released the song Radar on her album Blackout, and then released the EXACT same version of the song on her next album Circus. When i first saw this i thought the new one must be a different version, or some sort of remix. this is not the case. its exactly the same. Circus has been out since nov or something, or maybe oct, i dont remember and i dont feel like checking, the point is that nobody in any interview, or album review or anything has mentioned the fact that she has the same exact song on both albums. Everyone just wants to talk about how fucked up she was and how great she is doing now, by the way, this is really just people talking about how she was chubbier when blackout came out and now she is back in shape. the only reason she is doing "better" is because her dad controls her life now.

So NOW they are making the video for her new single which just happens to be Radar.... and still America is silent.

Sheen It!

About The Sheen. After watching Apocalypse Now and Platoon, and then Wall Street, a couple things become very clear. There is a certain "sheen" to the Sheens, thus making them, "The Sheen". It's hard to put into words, but in an attempt I would like to draw particular attention to the hair. Get it? There is a certain "sheen" to the hair. Notice the narrating skills. Both Sheen takes a different approach to it, but both also have a definite "sheen" to their voice. Now it is important to bring up the Emilio Estevez factor. He hass a slight sheen to him, but its just not the same. Example: kirby keager. His hair is slightly martin, but really it just doesnt have that sheen.
Now its about to get really complicated, Michael Douglas. He is an honorary Sheen. He is a second rate sheen, just look at him.
To come to the main point, there should be a game like the game, Scene It? Well there needs to be a Sheen It edition. All Sheen, a hundred and twenty percent Sheen. Every answer will be either martin or charles.

Word(s) of the Day

Baby Bitch, Honey Bitch: A baby bitch is someone who is a little fucking immature annoying piece of shit. Anyone who is whining or not realizing the bigger picture is a baby bitch, I mean it's pretty obviousl. A baby bitch is not a good thing. A honey bitch is like, yo honey, i love you, bitch. Dont call a woman a bitch, Honey bitch is more used for, you have a very comfortable relationship with someone and you might call eachother "honey" but your not a fucking pussy so you're not gonna say, "honey" you're gonna say, "honey bitch" because you are fucking adults!

i dont know man

i dont know man

word of the day

shet: this is the opposite of shit. but not shit like, the noun shit. but more of the exclamation, "Shit!". lets say you think something really bad happened, like you forgot to bring a hair thing with you and you look down at your wrist and you're about to yell, "shit!" cuz maybe its windy and your hair is going nuts. but as soon as you start to say shit, "sshhhhhh...." you see that you really do have a hairthing, so you convert the sshhhhh, to "Shet!" this means, yea i thought something bad was happening but its not, things are working out splendidly. shet!
Don't forget that shet can also be said after you have already said the word shit. "shit, I forgot my pen at home. Shet, It was in my hand all along!"

E(wwwww)

everyone at E!, (entertainment television) makes me wanna puke. ryan seacrest molests everybody on the red carpet. at the grammys he totally emotionally molested taylor swift and miley cyrus, normally i dont care for these young girls (not always true, hannah montanna isnt half bad) but seriously ryan, its not fun to watch you do that. debbie, debbie whatever the fuck is also scary. i mean really, why do they need to be so scary and awkward, and creepy. they totally gross me out.

my german baby

after seeing the reader, i left with so much on my mind. but most of all, i left wanting to kidnap a fifteen year old foreign boy. the reader taught me that young boys, especially foreign, are amazing. i had seen pics and clips from the reader and i thought, there is nothing very sexy about that young boy, david kross, but after seeing the movie, i totally disagree with my former self. and even though david kross is actually 18, that means he is still three years younger than me, so it counts. btw its wrong to think that young girls are hot. mily cyrus is a baby. dont think of her like that

word of the day

Boofie: roofies arent cool. but this is a word. the term boofie is said when one has roofied their friend, and one does not want this friend to know. so one will look at ones other friend to let him or her know whats going on and one will say, "boofie" while throwing ones arm in the air as if one has just shot a basketball. arms in the air, bent at the elbows, wrists limp. DONT EVER ROOFIE ANYONE! when someone roofied darcy on degrassi she went totally nuts. dont even use "forget me nows" also it can be used the same way the "word" pwnd is used. this is the one new thing you've learned today

Aguh aguh aguh aguh aguh aguh

7:32. till the end. so aguh. it doesnt matter if you have no idea what the context is.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7UQKRslQV9s

you learn something new every day but did you know you can literally only learn one new thing a day? well thats the truth. so here is one new word a day. learn it.

Telt: the frame surrounding your tv screen. it can also mean the screen around your computer. or anything like that. ok.

digging on Deg.

this just in, degrassi marathon, mtv, right now

Taking Over The Treasure Trove

Hey, this is our blog. it's where we post our stuff. we havent posted any stuff yet. but it will happen shortly. ok, brb, going to the bodega. loves ya. stay stay.